Next Up, Haiti
In 1978, high on hope, drunk on delusion and ignorant of the calibre of the opposition, Ally MacLeod took Scotland into the 1978 World Cup like the knucklehead leading the Charge of the Light Brigade. Prior to departing for Argentina, MacLeod, previously manager of Ayr United and Aberdeen, was asked, “What do you plan to do after the World Cup?” He replied, “Retain it.”
I think he was joking. There again, perhaps not. After all, this was a Scotland team featuring the likes of Kenny Dalglish, Graeme Souness, Archie Gemmill, toothless - in a dental sense - Joe Jordan and Kenny Burns. All we had to do was make it out of a group featuring Peru, Iran and the Netherlands. Vintage Scotland fans will not need to be reminded how things panned out. Peru thumped us 3-1, Iran held us to a 1-1 draw (or was it the other way round?) and, better late than never, we battered the Netherlands 3-2, including a goal by Gemmill that many rate on a par with the best of Pele, Maradona and Messi. You may like to add Ronaldo, but has he ever slalomed between defenders like the balletic Archie?
It was an inglorious campaign, the reverberations of which were far reaching. Is it too much to suggest that the failure the following year of the devolution referendum was a result of Ally’s Tartan Army’s inability to live up to expectations? How different things might have been. Lest anyone forget, the Netherlands proceeded to the final of the competition, where they took host nation Argentina to extra time before succumbing to a 3-1 defeat. Who’s to say Scotland could not have done better.
All of which brings me to a collection of poems by Alan Bold. Never one to miss an opportunity to score, ‘Boldie’ published a collection of poems to appeal to the footballing masses before they set off for the other side of the planet. Scotland, Yes: World Cup Football Poems contained some forty poems, a number of which were published in the much-missed Weekend Scotsman. It is fair to say that the literati were unimpressed, and when the paper’s letters page filled with howls of outrage from affronted readers, it was left to Hugh MacDiarmid no less to defend his pal and future biographer.
The following poem, titled ‘Peruvian Nursery Rhyme’, may give you an idea of what the book contained.
Poor poor Peru
If you only knew
What the boys in Blue
Are going to do to you!
Too true!
Should you wish to delve deeper, a paperback copy of Scotland, Yes: World Cup Football Poems is available from Amazon for £98.50.
Haiti here we come.
Witty and insightful- thank you! My fingers are crossed for Scotland. We can but hope.